Magical Pants

A conversation with Hubby at Lunch:

Hubby: (Looking at my pants) “I don’t like those pants”

Me: “Yes, they’re very frumpy”

Hubby: “They’re too… Blue”

Me: “Very ugly”

Hubby: “They look like something your Grandma would wear…”

Me: “And they’re too big for me”

Hubby: “They are not flattering… at all…”

Me: “Yup. I hate them.”

Hubby: “So why are you wearing them??”

Me: “All my clothes are dirty. We need to do laundry”

Hubby: …..(looks at my pants)… “As soon as I get home I’m going to do some laundry”

I thought to myself I can’t wait to get rid of these ugly frumpy pants… then I realized, these pants are magical! These pants make husbands do laundry! I AM SO KEEPING THESE PANTS.

Potty mouth

Years ago when I first was married, we lived in a tiny duplex with a patch of yard. We had just gotten our first dog as a couple and were trying very hard to potty-train the fluff ball.

Next to our patch of lawn was a fence, and a business on the other side with construction goings-on.

Every morning & evening, one of us would take the fluff outside on a leash to the patch of yard and demand “Potty, Dog! Potty!” over and over again.

One morning, dog seemed to start to get it. Dog was sniffing, dog was circling. I kept commanding “Potty!”. Just as dog lifts his teeny leg to go… *BAM!!*

Imagine our surprise to find a newly placed porta-potty just on the other side of our fence… And a grumpy construction worker loudly exiting that porta-potty, who didn’t appreciate a bathrobe-clad woman yelling “POTTY!”.

Dog did not learn “potty” that day.

I bet you were expecting cuss words. Get your mind out of the potty.

In which I post my first blog, evar

So here I am, world.  Makin’ my own blog.  Spiffers.

Random thought of the day:  I had to have “rotor-rootering” of my sinuses last June, after 4 sinus infections in a row and 8 rounds of antibiotics which my body thought was just expensive candy.  The official term is “Functional Endoscopic Sinus Surgery”.

What part of the surgery was “Functional”?  I would hope that the entire surgery would have been functional, or else I want my money back.

BTW – now my sinuses are super happy.  I smell better, too.  Well, what I mean is my sniffer sniffs better.  I can breathe through my nose better, too.  7 months later and I have only had 1 cold and I got to be sick like a normal person and just bitch and moan and get over it on my own without having to rush to the doctor’s to get an antibiotic prescription or risk getting pneumonia (oh yeah, and dying).  Yep.  Functional.